


Sacrifice

by mehna



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, But Kinda Happy Ending too, Canon Universe, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Sad Alec Lightwood, Suicidal Thoughts, post 3x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 12:44:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18282626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mehna/pseuds/mehna
Summary: Alec knows that logically, there’s only one option left to make this better. It’s a terrible choice, and Magnus will probably never forgive him, but at least he’ll be alive. Alec will have to take that as a victory.***Or, the one where Alec goes to Hell to try and save Magnus' life.





	Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE read the first point before you read the story!!
> 
> Alec has suicidal thoughts in this, and though it's not explicitly mentioned, it's hinted at a lot that he'd basically die if Magnus did, so if that's something that's triggering for you, please read with caution, I don't want to hurt anyone by posting this.
> 
> Funny story, I wanted to write something post 3x15 where Alec takes care of Magnus when he wakes up, like bathes him and helps him shave and just showers him with love, and that was where I was heading when I wrote this, but then it just kinda got away from me? So now, there's none of that, but at the end, I can imagine Alec giving Magnus a bath and taking care of him, so you can imagine that too! :D
> 
> Happy reading!

It’s been four days.

He’s spent almost every hour of them by Magnus’ bedside, watching people walk in and out, saddened by what’s happened but able to continue living their life relatively normally.

Alec envies them. He doesn’t know how to live normally right now, and if he’s completely honest with himself, the darkest parts of him know that he won’t be able to live at all without Magnus; if Magnus goes, so will he.

Catarina’s tried everything she can, but they both know that only Lorenzo can fix it, and after the talk Alec had with him three days ago, he’s not holding out any hope on the evil snake lifting one finger to save Magnus’ life.

His mother and Isabelle walk in, their faces drawn and skin pale. Alec can only imagine how bad he looks.  

“We talked to the Clave,” Izzy starts, and from her tone alone Alec can tell the news isn’t good. “There’s nothing they can do to make Lorenzo cooperate. It’ll go against the accords if we force him.”

Alec takes a deep breath, fighting back the tears that are threatening to spill. “So I’m just supposed to watch him die?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper.

“Alec...” Izzy’s voice breaks, a few stray tears slipping down her cheeks as she rests a hand on his shoulder.

For the first time in his whole life, the touch does nothing to comfort him.

“We’ll find another way, honey,” his mother says

Alec knows that logically, there’s only one option left to make this better. It’s a terrible choice, and Magnus will probably never forgive him, but at least he’ll be alive. Alec will have to take that as a victory.

He sniffles, steeling himself for what he’s about to do and gets up before pulling Izzy into a hug. “Thank you for trying,” he whispers and feels as she clutches back at him desperately. _I’ll always love you_ , he mouths into her hair, a silent goodbye.

When he pulls back, he wipes away the tears on her face with his thumb and places a kiss on her forehead. She gives him a strange look, and Alec can tell that she’s close to figuring out he’s about to do something incredibly dangerous, so he turns to his mother and grabs her hand.

“Can I just...be left alone with him? Just for a few minutes?” he asks quietly.

“Of course, just...call if you need us, okay?” his Mom replies, kissing his cheek briefly.

Alec squeezes her hand tightly, not giving in to the urge to hug her as well because he knows it’ll tip Izzy off. Instead, he nods, and sends what he hopes is a reassuring smile to both of them as they walk out of the room, leaving him and Magnus’ prone body alone.

He drops back down into the chair and takes Magnus’ hand in his own, hating how it’s cool to the touch when normally the contact would bring warmth to Alec’s skin.

“I hope you’ll forgive me, baby. I’ll always love you,” Alec whispers the words against Magnus’ lips, the endearment slipping out unconsciously. He presses one last lingering kiss against them as tears fall down his cheeks and onto Magnus’.

Mind determined, Alec pulls back and grabs his phone from the side table, dialing Clary’s number.

***

 

“Absolutely not,” Clary says, her face a mix between horror and pity.

Alec hates it.

“It’s the only way to save him,” he argues. “We’ve tried everything, there’s no other option left but this.”

“There’s still time, Alec. Catarina’s working on getting the Warlocks to help, Izzy and I can push the Clave...you don’t have to do this.” Her voice wavers at the end, and when Alec meets her gaze, her eyes are tearing up.

“Look at him, Clary,” Alec says, tone on the edge of pleading. “He doesn’t have the time and you know it. We can’t keep pushing people who won’t budge.”

“He – he wouldn’t want you to do this,” she tries as a desperate and rather hurtful attempt to get him to listen.

“Well he’s not here to tell me, is he?!” Alec yells back, angry that she’d even think to use Magnus against him right now. She flinches back, her eyes widening in shock but Alec can’t bring himself to feel bad about raising his voice. “He’s _dying_ , Clary, and I’m not just gonna sit by and watch as he slips through my fingers while I have to carry on and live without him. I’m not letting him die.”

He sniffs back his tears, angrily wiping his face and sighing out a deep breath. “He exchanged his magic to save Jace from Lillith, he did that for you Clary. He did that for _us_. He’s always put everyone before himself, and look where it’s gotten him. I can’t – I can’t let him give up his _life_ for us too. Please...help me save him.”

Alec can tell when Clary’s resolve breaks. Her shoulders slump, eyes closing in resignation even as silent tears drip down her face.

She walks over to Magnus, taking his hand in hers and giving it a gentle squeeze before moving back and pulling out her stele.

“How do you know he’ll give it back?” she asks quietly, watching as Alec unhooks Magnus from the machines and wraps the blanket more securely around his frame.

“Magnus is his son,” Alec replies simply, watching as Clary gasps silently at the new knowledge. “He may be a Prince of Hell, but he won’t just sit by and watch Magnus die.”

Alec knows Magnus didn’t want anyone to know who his demon parent was, but Alec reasons it’s better telling Clary that than telling her the truth; Asmodeus will definitely want an exchange, and Alec’s already decided to give his own life.

With a chaste kiss to Magnus’ forehead, Alec lifts him up in a bridal carry, cradling him close to his chest for what will probably be the last time.

When he looks back up, Clary is still silently gaping at him and Magnus, but she quickly shuts her mouth and swallows heavily, her hand shaking as she raises the stele.

“I won’t tell anyone,” she promises silently, and Alec nods his thanks, watching as she draws the rune in the air, orange and yellow sparks forming a portal out of nothing. “Go save him.”

Alec tightens his hold on Magnus, closing his eyes as he takes a deep breath preparing for what he’s about to do, and then without a backwards glance or second thought, he steps through the portal and into Hell.

***

Asmodeus isn’t what Alec expected, but then again neither is Hell.

He’d imagined fire burning everywhere, people being tortured all around him, but what he was met with was eerie silence. Not one demon in sight.

He supposes it was because Asmodeus was waiting for him, so everything else scattered away at his command.

The first thing Alec notices is his eyes. They’re almost identical to Magnus’, but where Magnus’ were warm and loving, Asmodeus’ are just cold and cruel. Alec can’t hide the shiver that runs through him when they settle on him, and then on Magnus’ body lying limp in Alec’s arms.

“You must be the Shadowhunter,” Asmodeus says, his voice like cold water down Alec’s back. Alec doesn’t show any reaction to the words, instead he meets his gaze head on and doesn’t flinch back when with a burst of demonic speed, Asmodeus is right in front of him, his hand hovering settling with surprising gentleness on Magnus’ head. “My silly boy,” he whispers to himself, and then looks up at Alec with inquiring eyes as he asks, “What did he do?”

“He got a magic infusion from the new High Warlock, Lorenzo Rey.” Alec spits out the name, just the words leaving a bad taste in his mouth. “His body’s rejecting the magic,” he adds, looking down at Magnus and begging for his tears not to come back again.

For some reason, unbeknownst to Alec, he isn’t as afraid of Asmodeus as he thought he’d be. Maybe it’s because he’s more afraid of Magnus dying, or maybe it’s the look Asmodeus has in his eyes when he looks at Magnus, shaking his head in something akin to fond exasperation.

Regardless, Alec takes a deep breath and looks into his eyes, still glowing the same way Magnus’ did. “Save him. Give him his magic back and let him go. Please.”

 Asmodeus narrows his eyes at him, tilting his head to the side a little as he limps a few steps backwards on his cane.

“Why would I do that?” he asks, and Alec almost scoffs at the question.

“Because he’s your son, and you don’t want him to die,” he answers simply, not caring that he’s talking to a Prince of Hell. Right now, he’s talking to a father, and Alec has a gut feeling that deep down, somewhere in that cold exterior, Asmodeus doesn’t want Magnus to die either.

Asmodeus nods, seemingly agreeing with what Alec’s said and walks over to a small table with various books on it. He flips one open, skimming the pages and Alec barely stops himself from telling him to hurry up and decide whether he’s going to help or not. Eventually though, with a tone lightly inquiring, he looks up and says, “You said “let _him_ go”, not “let _us_ go”. Why is that?”

Alec swallows past the lump in his throat and looks down at Magnus’ body in his arms. His chest is rising and falling in a beat that normally calms Alec when he places his head there to sleep; now, it only makes his heart ache with what he’s about to lose.

“From what I’ve heard, you’ll only help someone in exchange for something in return, so...” Alec pauses, taking a deep breath and blinking back the tears. “For Magnus’ magic and freedom to leave here, I’ll exchange myself.”

Alec expected a lot of reactions, but his utterly flummoxed when Asmodeus laughs.

He’s not sure what to do with that, so he just stands there and watches, and when Asmodeus sees that, he seems to sober up quite quickly, his laughs dying out and turning into a confused hum.

“You, a Shadowhunter, are willing to give up your life to me, for a Warlock?” he asks in a tone that suggests he doesn’t believe it one bit.

Alec doesn’t even hesitate when he answers. “Yes.”

“Interesting,” Asmodeus says, eyes narrowing a little in Alec’s direction, but Alec holds his gaze steadily, not backing down from whatever this weird confrontation is. He’s already made his peace with not being able to see Magnus after this if it means he’ll get to live.

Asmodeus claps his hands together, his expression becoming blank as he snaps his fingers together and with an electrifying spark of blood red magic, a fairly comfortable looking bed appears in the room. “You have yourself a deal, Shadowhunter.” Alec exhales a breath of relief.

Even though he’ll be stuck here for the rest of eternity, Magnus will live on. Alec can’t bring himself to feel as upset as he wants to, keeping only the thought of Magnus alive at the front of his mind. If he lets himself think of anything else, he knows he’ll break down.

“Put him on the bed and then say your goodbye.” Asmodeus orders, and Alec complies easily, laying Magnus down with gentle hands, tucking the blanket under his chin and cupping his face.

He runs his thumb over Magnus’ cheekbone, closing his eyes against the onslaught of tears threatening to fall and places a lingering kiss on Magnus’ forehead before backing away and moving to stand in front of Asmodeus.

With a hum and smile in Alec’s direction, Asmodeus moves over to Magnus and Alec watches as red sparks fly over his body, yellow being retreated into Asmodeus’ hand and blue flowing into Magnus.

It lasts for less than 10 seconds, and when Asmodeus steps away, Alec sees Magnus hand twitch with a faint hint of blue seeping out of his fingertips before it settles. He barely has time to let his shoulders slump in relief before Asmodeus appears in a blur in front of him with a wicked smile, and then his vision goes black.

***

When Alec wakes up, it’s to the sound of Catarina’s voice.

“I don’t know what he did,” she’s saying quietly. “But it worked. Magnus is going to be fine, and so is he.”

He blinks his eyes open and sits up with a groan, feeling every muscle in his body protest at the movement.

“Alec!” Izzy’s exclaims, by his side in an instant and lowering him back down to the bed. “Alec, what the hell did you do?” she asks, he eyes pleading.

When she pulls her hands back, Alec notices they’re black with soot and a little bit of what Alec assumes is his blood. He looks down at his body, and his suspicions are confirmed. He’s wearing the clothes he was wearing that morning, but they’re bloody and torn now, and he can feel where his skin has been burnt by the fire.

“Mag-” his voice falters, throat dry as though he’s screamed it raw. “Magnus,” he chokes out, turning his head a little when Izzy points next to him.

Alec sobs in relief, his hand reaching out unconsciously to touch, but Magnus is on the other side of the bed, soundly asleep, and Alec can’t bring his aching muscles to move any closer.

He’s alive. That’s all that matters.

Alec lets his eyes close again, feeling tired and worn out, but at peace knowing that they’ll both be okay.

***

When he wakes up for the second time, his body feels much better. He can tell Jace used an Iratze to help heal him, and now the only evidence that he was hurt is his clothes, still torn and bloody.

When he looks around, the only person in the room is Magnus, who’s still sleeping, and Clary, sitting on the chair between both of their beds.

She notices that he’s awake, and smiles at him. “You scared the hell out of us,” she admits quietly.

“What happened?” he asks. He knows what happened to him after he stepped through the portal Clary made, but he doesn’t know what happened here.

“You and Magnus were gone for about half an hour,” Clary begins, her eyes falling to her lap so she doesn’t see Alec frown in confusion at the time frame. “I told them you asked for a portal, but I didn’t say where to. I didn’t know if you wanted them to know.” She pauses, exhaling shakily and running a hand through her messy hair. “They were all arguing, trying to come up with a way to find you since your tracking rune didn’t work, and then Magnus just appeared on the bed again with some red smoke, and then about five minutes later you appeared.”

Alec inhales, trying to conceal the surprise on his face so Clary doesn’t notice it.

She doesn’t.

“Catarina checked Magnus over. He’s going to be okay. He’s got his magic and his body’s healing. She said he’ll wake up soon.”

They sit in silence for a few moments, Alec with his eyes on Magnus, not feeling that gut wrenching fear of losing him from before but instead relief that they both made it out.

“What happened to you?” she asks quietly, breaking the silence, and Alec sighs, having expected the question.

“The trip back wasn’t as fire proof as the one there,” he answers cryptically, somewhat telling the truth but leaving out huge chunks of the in-between.

She nods, her eyes clearly saying she doesn’t believe him but letting the subject drop. With a deep breath, she stands up and walks over to his bedside, placing her hand on his shoulder and giving a gentle squeeze.

“Thank you,” he whispers, staring into her green eyes so she can see how sincere he is. “I wouldn’t have been able to save him without you, so...thank you.”

She smiles kindly at him, her eyes red rimmed like she’d been crying the whole time, and leans down to kiss his cheek.

“I’ll let the others know you’re okay,” she says as she walks away, giving him one more smile before shutting the bedroom door softly behind her.

Alec immediately shuffles closer to Magnus, taking his hand in his own and just taking in all of his features.

He’d missed him so much.

***

Magnus wakes up an hour later.

Izzy, Jace and his Mom had come into the room, demanding answers, and Alec had waffled around a half truth, telling them what he’d told Clary, and ending the story with Asmodeus letting them both go after healing Magnus and giving his magic back. Isabelle seemed reluctant to buy the story, but eventually acquiesced and left with a kiss to his cheek.

Alec can’t hold back his gasp when Magnus’ eyes flutter open, the brilliant gold shining back at him.

“Magnus,” Alec whispers, a smile breaking out on his face as Magnus’ hand reaches up to tentatively touch his face.

“Alexander?” Magnus asks, voice even quieter than Alec’s, his fingers shaky as they touch Alec’s cheek.

Alec nods, tears falling freely at seeing Magnus alive again, seeing him breathing and whole, and seeing the eyes he’d missed so much it felt like a physical ache in his body. “You’re okay,” he murmurs, burying his face in Magnus’ neck and pressing kisses to the skin there. “You okay.”

It seems that’s the moment where Magnus takes account of his own body, and he lets out a gasp of mixed surprise and happiness when blue sparks dance from his fingertips.

Alec lets out a sob, laughing wetly and hugs Magnus closer to him.

“What did you do?” Magnus asks him, eyes filled with unbridled joy.

“It doesn’t matter,” Alec shakes his head, smile firm on his face despite the tears blurring his vision. “All that matters is that you’re okay.”

“Alexander,” Magnus protests, but Alec shakes his head again and cuts him off with a kiss, almost sobbing into his mouth when Magnus’ hands come up to gently cradle his face, kissing back enthusiastically.

Alec holds Magnus close to him, inhaling his scent, letting the warmth and magic seep into his bones as Magnus holds him back just as tightly.

He’ll tell him tomorrow that he went to Asmodeus for help. He’ll tell him that Asmodeus kept him for 15 months until he realised Alec had no ulterior motive when he gave up his own life to save Magnus’ but simply did it because of love. He’ll tell him that Asmodeus let him go because somewhere inside his heart, he still cared for Magnus and wanted his happiness, and after seeing how much Alec loved Magnus and how much he was willing to sacrifice for him, Asmodeus knew Alec was Magnus’ happiness, just as Magnus was Alec’s.

**Author's Note:**

> In this verse, you can portal to Hell without a Warlock doing the fancy floor sand thingy that Magnus did, but no one can portal out unless they're not meant to be there, so basically Asmodeus can't just leave, but he can get Magnus and Alec out.
> 
> I'm probably gonna die on Monday, the promo literally made my heart stop. This episode is really out to kill us all. Good luck my loves, and thank you for reading! <3<3


End file.
